My first impression is we're 'too close' to everything in this scene. It feels as if you need to extend the frame of this composition so we get to 'stand back' a bit and see more of these elements in context. Right now, everything looks very cute and small and cartoony, as opposed to elegant, refined, subtle and 'product designed' - which is the expectation we would have of Ives world. I don't get the purpose of all those thick black lines, Chris? Isn't another of the key features of the Ives style a sort of softness of shape, with edges meeting each other with elegance and grace? This looks a bit like a colouring book to me and I really think you need to work a bit more in sympathy with your artist. I would struggle to see the link between this 'bouncy castle' type structure and Ives.
Chris - in basic terms of quality - your production art/orthographs are inadequate, both in terms of the presentation of them on your blog as images (terrible!) and the precision of them as 'technical drawings' - I'll be expecting to see huge improvements in terms of these elements in advance of week 12. You have to think of these elements as being of a standard where you could give them to someone else - a modeller - to work from with confidence.
So - I suggest you open up your composition further to help us understand the scale of everything (at the moment everything looks like a toy) and look again at the details of Ives signature style and try and mirror them more effectively in your own designs - for example, I think it highly improbably that if Ives was designing a train, he would create something where the front of the train was so obviously a different shape to the rest of it; given what you know about Apple products, isn't it more likely that Ives would design something like this:
OGR 20/11/2014
ReplyDeleteHi Chris,
My first impression is we're 'too close' to everything in this scene. It feels as if you need to extend the frame of this composition so we get to 'stand back' a bit and see more of these elements in context. Right now, everything looks very cute and small and cartoony, as opposed to elegant, refined, subtle and 'product designed' - which is the expectation we would have of Ives world. I don't get the purpose of all those thick black lines, Chris? Isn't another of the key features of the Ives style a sort of softness of shape, with edges meeting each other with elegance and grace? This looks a bit like a colouring book to me and I really think you need to work a bit more in sympathy with your artist. I would struggle to see the link between this 'bouncy castle' type structure and Ives.
Chris - in basic terms of quality - your production art/orthographs are inadequate, both in terms of the presentation of them on your blog as images (terrible!) and the precision of them as 'technical drawings' - I'll be expecting to see huge improvements in terms of these elements in advance of week 12. You have to think of these elements as being of a standard where you could give them to someone else - a modeller - to work from with confidence.
So - I suggest you open up your composition further to help us understand the scale of everything (at the moment everything looks like a toy) and look again at the details of Ives signature style and try and mirror them more effectively in your own designs - for example, I think it highly improbably that if Ives was designing a train, he would create something where the front of the train was so obviously a different shape to the rest of it; given what you know about Apple products, isn't it more likely that Ives would design something like this:
https://rawartint.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/future-train-21.jpg