Firstly - I'm really sorry you had to wait this long for your feedback; in short, you weren't in my folder of named blogs - don't know why - so I literally missed you out! Nothing personal I promise :)
Okay - I'm going to play hardball with you and simply say that the creative jump from Octavia - suspended city - to Octavia a 'city on a spider's back' is just too much and too far and has nothing to do with Calvino's vision (which, let's face it) is incredible/surreal enough. This is an example of style creep really - you get a job to do, and you make it about something completely different, probably because you have a soft-spot for 'spiders with cities on their backs'.
I want you to return to the extract and actually deal with imagining the city as described by Calvino - which, in design terms, is very complex and requires a lot of thought! To assist you further, I want you to take a look at the Octavia feedback left on your classmates' blogs:
OGR 13/10/2014
ReplyDeleteHi Marion,
Firstly - I'm really sorry you had to wait this long for your feedback; in short, you weren't in my folder of named blogs - don't know why - so I literally missed you out! Nothing personal I promise :)
Okay - I'm going to play hardball with you and simply say that the creative jump from Octavia - suspended city - to Octavia a 'city on a spider's back' is just too much and too far and has nothing to do with Calvino's vision (which, let's face it) is incredible/surreal enough. This is an example of style creep really - you get a job to do, and you make it about something completely different, probably because you have a soft-spot for 'spiders with cities on their backs'.
I want you to return to the extract and actually deal with imagining the city as described by Calvino - which, in design terms, is very complex and requires a lot of thought! To assist you further, I want you to take a look at the Octavia feedback left on your classmates' blogs:
http://garrisonimpala.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/online-greenlight-review-project-01.html
http://bradleeking.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/invisible-cities-ogr.html
http://lewismaddison.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/view-invisible-cities-ogr-on-scribd.html#comment-form
http://adamfelstead95.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/httpswww.html