Okay - so while you've used the three components logically, your story is actually a bit on the conventional aside; it feels very linear - procedural - not so much a story, as a plot - and a plot isn't a story. For example, your audience might feel some tension in terms of whether or not the construction worker will survive, but the brain surgeon character is just a capable pair of hands, as opposed to a personality we can engage with. I'm wondering how many different ideas/combinations you've tried before settling on this one? I would like to see some alternate ideas on here - and some less literal ones in the mix.
For example, there's the idea where a person's brain 'is' the construction site, and the story takes place inside someone's head. It would be like telling story of brain surgery form the point of view of the brain! The brain might imagine the surgeon's tools to be like some terrifying swiss army knife, for example; i'm thinking of the way cats react when you try and take them to the vet; they go nuts and try anything to get away!
Short version - let's see a few more ideas on here before we make any decisions; but you don't have much time, so work quickly, instinctively and post an @Phil when you've got some new ideas in the mix.
... also I want to see some reviews on here before next week; I understand that you find academic writing challenging, and for this reason I want you to make an appointment with Tracey Ashmore so you can work proactively to address this weakness; you need to do something about it, or you'll struggle to pass units that are research and writing based.
OGR 22/01/2015
ReplyDeleteEvening Marion,
Okay - so while you've used the three components logically, your story is actually a bit on the conventional aside; it feels very linear - procedural - not so much a story, as a plot - and a plot isn't a story. For example, your audience might feel some tension in terms of whether or not the construction worker will survive, but the brain surgeon character is just a capable pair of hands, as opposed to a personality we can engage with. I'm wondering how many different ideas/combinations you've tried before settling on this one? I would like to see some alternate ideas on here - and some less literal ones in the mix.
For example, there's the idea where a person's brain 'is' the construction site, and the story takes place inside someone's head. It would be like telling story of brain surgery form the point of view of the brain! The brain might imagine the surgeon's tools to be like some terrifying swiss army knife, for example; i'm thinking of the way cats react when you try and take them to the vet; they go nuts and try anything to get away!
Short version - let's see a few more ideas on here before we make any decisions; but you don't have much time, so work quickly, instinctively and post an @Phil when you've got some new ideas in the mix.
... also I want to see some reviews on here before next week; I understand that you find academic writing challenging, and for this reason I want you to make an appointment with Tracey Ashmore so you can work proactively to address this weakness; you need to do something about it, or you'll struggle to pass units that are research and writing based.